Bream Gives Me Hiccups

13649259_1735420973389926_1110723912_nEisenberg’s novel is absolutely brilliant, and everyone needs to read it. 

He stunningly captures what it’s like to be nine years old, which means you feel nine again, too. He points out things that may not have been obvious to an adult’s mind, that will wow you. Although the entire story isn’t about a nine year old complaining, he does have many points about what it’s like to be an adult working in a lawless world. You could hear [Eisenberg’s] own voice as he narrated each person, and that’s what I like to see in stories.
When you can hear the author’s thoughts or their thinking as you’re reading, the novel will come to life, more so than if you couldn’t. 

At times, I became a little bored, and wanted to skip over a few of the chapters, because I didn’t quite understand what was going on, but I’m glad I read it.

[Eisenberg’s] novel is hilarious, serious, direct and emotional. That’s why I give Eisenberg’s novel a 1500 out of 2000.

Here’s a sneak peek at Bream Gives me Hiccups: 

Last night, Mom took me to Sushi Nozawa, near Matt’s house.
Except she didn’t let Matt come with us and I had to leave in the middle of my favorite show because Mom said we would be late for our reservation and that I didn’t know who she had to blow on to get the reservation.
At the front of Sushi Nozawa is a mean woman. When I asked Mom why the woman is so angry, Mom said it’s because she’s Japanese and that it’s cultural. The woman at school who serves lunch is also mean but she is not Japanese. Maybe it’s just serving food that makes people angry.
Sushi Nozawa does not have any menus, which Mom said made it fancy. The Sushi chef is very serious and he stands behind a counter and serves the people whatever he wants. He is also mean.
The first thing they brought us was a rolled up wet washcloth, which I unrolled and put on my lap because Mom always said that the first thing I have to do in a nice restaurant is put the napkin in my lap. But this napkin was hot and wet and made me feel like I peed my pants. Mom got angry and asked me if I was stupid.
The mean woman then brought a little bowl of mashed up red fish bodies in a brown sauce and said that it was tuna fish, which I guess was a lie because it didn’t taste like tuna and made me want to puke right there at the table. But Mom said that I have to eat it because Sushi Nozawa was “famous for their tuna.” At school, there is a kid named Billy who everyone secretly calls Billy the Bully and who puts toothpaste on the teacher’s chair before she comes into the classroom.
He is also famous.
Mom said they have egg so I asked for two eggs, but when the mean woman brought them, they didn’t look like eggs; they looked like dirty sponges and I spit it out on the table in front of Mom, who slammed her hands on the table and made the plates rattle and so I got scared and spit out more sponge on Mom’s hands and Mom yelled at me in a weird whispery voice, saying that the only reason she took me to the restaurant is so that Dad would pay for it. Then I started crying and little bits of the gross egg came out of my nose with snot and Mom started laughing in a nice way and gave me a hug and told me to be more quiet.

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

images (3)Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock is one of the best novels I’ve read, hands down.

If you didn’t get excited about Herr Silverman, you are either a liar, or an idiot. You choose.
The book is about a suicidal boy, who is saying goodbye to his four friends, and mother. He plans to shoot a boy named Asher Beal in the face first, and then himself, as his birthday gift to himself, using his grandfather’s P-38 Nazi war gun.

The first scene in the book is him sitting down at his dinner table, oatmeal in his bowl, and the P-38 next to him, wondering if this piece of ‘modern art’ will be featured in the MoMa. So, already I love him, because, well, what even is modern art?

Art made to look modern?

Old scenes painted modernly?

What even?!?

Anyways, below is an excerpt of the story:

“The P-38 WWII Nazi handgun looks comical lying on the breakfast table next to a bowl of oatmeal.  It’s like some weird steampunk utenisil anachronism.  But if you look very closely just above the handle, you can see the tiny stamped swastika and the eagle perched on top, which is real as hell.

     I take a photo of my place setting with my iPhone, thinking it cold be both evidence and modern art. . . .

    The art and naswer worlds will love it, I bet.

     Especially after I actually kill Asher Beal and off myself.”

Everything, Everything

13721083_660810957429101_1230581896_nNicola Yoon’s story Everything, Everything, is a must read! 

Yoon’s story really makes you think, which is probably cliche, because all books should make you think. It’s hilarious in a sincerity, sad, full of anguish, and most importantly, love.

Our main character is Madeline Whittier a girl who has SKID row, and has never left her house in seventeen years.

Her nurse’s name is Carla, and she loves her to death. Everything is okay with her, Her white room, white clothes, white couch, and bookshelf of books all with: Property of Madeline Whittier in it.

That is, until Olly moves next door.

Olly is a boy who can breathe real, unsafe, polluted air. He wore black all the time. He had a life outside of his home, and could climb on his roof and do who knows what.

They met for a brief moment, looking out the window. He smiled at her, while she just frowned. She hadn’t done it on purpose, but an accidental response. This was the first of many real meetings.

Plot twists, humor and heartbreak are in your future.
To wet your appetite, here’s an excerpt of [Nicola] Yoon’s story, Everything, Everything:

My disease is as rare as it is famous. Basically, I’m allergic to the world. I don’t leave my house, have not left my house in seventeen years. The only people I ever see are my mom and my nurse, Carla. 

 

But then one day, a moving truck arrives next door. I look out my window, and I see him. He’s tall, lean and wearing all black—black T-shirt, black jeans, black sneakers, and a black knit cap that covers his hair completely. He catches me looking and stares at me. I stare right back. His name is Olly.

 

Maybe we can’t predict the future, but we can predict some things. For example, I am certainly going to fall in love with Olly. It’s almost certainly going to be a disaster.

The Selection

Image result for the selectionWhen I first started the series, I was thinking, “Aspen and America are so cute together, omg, they need to get married.”

Like, chapter four, I was like, “Oh my god, I like this Maxon guy…”

Chapter six was like, “WTH Aspen??”

And so on.

Basically, I was like, “C’mon America! Some of us gotta work hard to find love.”

When they finally got their act together (spoiler alert, it was the last book, at the end) I was happy. And sort of content. That’s why finding out there would be another one threw me for a loop.

The Heir: 

When I first started to read it, I was bored with it. I wasn’t ready for Maxon and America to grow up yet. They just got married!

But I gave it another go, and I’m so glad i did!

The story is about how Maxon and America’s daughter received the crown and is now having a selection of her own. The daughter- Eadlyn- didn’t want to have a selection, but after a little persuading. she finally agreed to do it. One of the selected boys is Kile, one one the sons living in the castle with her. Everyone thinks that she’ll eventually come to her senses and pick him to marry. (I was one of those persons.)

As the selection goes on, we meet Henri, a man who speaks Finnish, his translator, Erik, Ean Cabel, Hale Garner, Burke Renn. Fox Wesley, etc…

As you’ll notice, our favorite guy Gavril Fadaye (Who I REALLY thought was gay…) comes back, continuing his selection footage as host. A lot of familiar faces make their way to the book, and it’s so much fun to point them out (and hard not spoil who it is), and a lot of questions come up.

As the book starts to end, you worry that Kiera Cass is just gonna leave you hanging…

But she doesn’t.

***SPOILER*****

The Crown:

Thank the book gods for this holy book.

We find out things are gonna be okay for America (We were all worried about our queen)

Maxon stays at America’s bed *Cry*

Maxon and America still dance when it rains *crying*

Eadlyn goes for the wrong guy (unlike her mother), but I guess he’s okay…

***SPOILER OVER***

So tell me what you guys think below, and what I should read next.

Below is the beginning of The Heir: 

I could not hold my breath for seven minutes. I couldn’t even make it to one. I once tried to run a mile in seven minutes after hearing some athletes could do it in four but failed spectacularly when a side stitch crippled me about halfway in.

However, there was one thing I managed to do in seven minutes that most would say is quite impressive: I became queen.

By seven tiny minutes I beat my brother, Ahren, into the world, so the throne that ought to have been his was mine. Had I been born a generation earlier, it wouldn’t have mattered. Ahren was the male, so Ahren would have been the heir.

Alas, Mom and Dad couldn’t stand to watch their firstborn be stripped of a title by an unfortunate but rather lovely set of breasts. So they changed the law, and the people rejoiced, and I was trained day by day to become the next ruler of Illéa.

What they didn’t understand was that their attempts to make my life fair seemed rather unfair to me.




from Kiera Cass’s website

We Were Liars

13320019_1758420797773929_1992916937_nWhile it is true I didn’t cry while reading this book, but I almost did. And that’s what you need to know first. 

Perhaps, that’s all you need to know.

I didn’t cry. Sue me. I felt like I was going to but I couldn’t. Though I did receive the symptoms of a cryer. IE: My throat stopped up, my eyes began to waver, and I felt my heart beat out of my chest. Boom, boom, boom. But I was rewarded with no tears.

The book starts out with you finding out about the Cadence Sinclair, the family, and how freaking perfect they are. No one is a liar. No one is a criminal. They are simply the Sinclairs.

We also find out that she has crippling migraines, after a tragic accident in Summer Fifteen. You’ll get to meet the liars: Gat, Mirren, and Johnny.

This year, Summer Seventeen, she convinces her Mum, to take her to her Gran’s house in Windemere. Her mother, Penny, believes that she and Cadence deserve the inheritance that Granddad has for them. But Penny has two rivalling sisters, Bess and Carrie. They both think that they should receive it.

Almost every night they get drunk and argue. They start using the children to get to granddad, to convince him that they deserve the inheritance. Cadence doesn’t want to. When she finally stands up for herself by voicing her concern, her mother threatened to take her back to her father and never come back here.

This would have been fine, had she not had her friends. The liars. Gat.

Gat was her first love.

Love meant everything.

No more summers. No more Gat.

Gat.

So she went to grandad.

A tearjerker, and overall a great novel. I give it a90-100% and a golden sticker.

Here is an exclusive excerpt of We Were Liars:

PENNY, CARRIE, AND Bess are the daughters of Tipper and Harris Sinclair. Harris came into his money at twenty-one after Harvard and grew the fortune doing business I never bothered to understand. He inherited houses and land. He made intelligent decisions about the stock market. He married Tipper and kept her in the kitchen and the garden. He put her on display in pearls and on sailboats. She seemed to enjoy it.

Granddad’s only failure was that he never had a son, but no matter. The Sinclair daughters were sunburnt and blessed. Tall, merry, and rich, those girls were like princesses in a fairy tale. They were known throughout Boston, Harvard Yard, and Martha’s Vineyard for their cashmere cardigans and grand parties. They were made for legends. Made for princes and Ivy League schools, ivory statues, and majestic houses.

Granddad and Tipper loved the girls so, they couldn’t say whom they loved best. First Carrie, then Penny, then Bess, then Carrie again. There were splashy weddings with salmon and harpists, then bright blond grandchildren and funny blond dogs. No one could ever have been prouder of their beautiful American girls than Tipper and Harris were, back then.

They built three new houses on their craggy private island and gave them each a name: Windemere for Penny, Red Gate for Carrie, and Cuddledown for Bess.

I am the eldest Sinclair grandchild. Heiress to the island, the fortune, and the expectations.

Well, probably.

ME, JOHNNY, MIRREN, and Gat. Gat, Mirren, Johnny, and me.

The family calls us four the Liars, and probably we deserve it. We are all nearly the same age, and we all have birthdays in the fall. Most years on the island, we’ve been trouble.

Gat started coming to Beechwood the year we were eight. Summer eight, we called it.

Before that, Mirren, Johnny, and I weren’t Liars. We were nothing but cousins, and Johnny was a pain because he didn’t like playing with girls.

Johnny, he is bounce, effort, and snark. Back then he would hang our Barbies by the necks or shoot us with guns made of Lego.

Mirren, she is sugar, curiosity, and rain. Back then she spent long afternoons with Taft and the twins, splashing at the big beach, while I drew pictures on graph paper and read in the hammock on the Clairmont house porch.

Then Gat came to spend the summers with us.

Aunt Carrie’s husband left her when she was pregnant with Johnny’s brother, Will. I don’t know what happened. The family never speaks of it. By summer eight, Will was a baby and Carrie had taken up with Ed already.

This Ed, he was an art dealer and he adored the kids. That was all we’d heard about him when Carrie announced she was bringing him to Beechwood, along with Johnny and the baby. They were the last to arrive that summer, and most of us were on the dock waiting for the boat to pull in. Granddad lifted me up so I could wave at Johnny, who was wearing an orange life vest and shouting over the prow.


Excerpt from Bookbrowse.com

 

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Rating Scale: 1%-100%

90-100% OMG I WILL PROCEED TO FANGIRL FOR HOURS/DAYS LATER

70-80% This was a good book, that everyone should read

50-60% – It was okay, but it was kinda hard to get into

30-40% -Um, probably never to be heard of again….hopefully.

20-10% – OH GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I KEPT READING

DFR = Didn’t finish reading because well….sucked. Probably thrown at the wall….

Michael Vey: Prisoner of Cell 25

13258952_125216491231014_167053120_nMy first thought when I saw this series is “Did they write another dystopian novel?!”I had just finished the Divergent and Maze Runner series and was looking for my next fix.

It was SO worth it.

The main character’s name is Michael Vey, who is just another nerdy kid at his school. On top of that, he has tourettes, which causes him to ‘tic’.
[Michael] has powers that let him electrocute people. He found out when he was younger and shocked his mother while she was bathing him. He doesn’t know his life is going to turn upside down in a matter of days.

Michael learns the girl that he’s been crushing on, Cheerleader, Taylor Ridley also has powers. He finds out after a death threatening Google search that she made, about a company called The Elgen.

Follow Michael, his best friend Ostin, and Taylor, as they meet super humans like them, and nickname themselves: The Electroclan. I give this story a 90-100%.

Underneath is an excerpt from the first book: The Prisoner of Cell 25, available now!

“ Have you found the last two?” The voice on the phone was angry and coarse, like the sound of car tires over broken glass.
“Not yet,” the well-dressed man on the other end of the phone replied. “Not yet. But we believe we’re close—and they still don’t know that we’re hunting them.”
“You believe you’re close?”
“They’re two children among a billion—finding them is like finding a lost chopstick in China.” “Is that what you want me to tell the board?”
“Remind the board that I’ve already found fifteen of the seventeen children. I’ve put out a million-dollar bounty on the last two, we’ve got spiders crawling the Web, and we have a whole team of investigators scanning global records for their whereabouts. It’s just a matter of time before we find them—or they step into one of our traps.”
“Time isn’t on our side,” the voice returned sharply. “Those kids are already too old. You know how difficult they are to turn at this age.”
“I know better than anyone,” the well-dressed man said, tapping his ruby-capped pen on his desk. “But I have my ways. And if they don’t turn, there’s always Cell 25.”

There was a long pause, then the voice on the phone replied darkly, “Yes. There’s always Cell 25.”



Excerpt from MichaelVey.com and Image from Goodreads.com 

 

 

 

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Rating Scale: 1%-100%

90-100% OMG I WILL PROCEED TO FANGIRL FOR HOURS/DAYS LATER

70-80% This was a good book, that everyone should read

50-60% – It was okay, but it was kinda hard to get into

30-40% -Um, probably never to be heard of again….hopefully.

20-10% – OH GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I KEPT READING

DFR = Didn’t finish reading because well….sucked. Probably thrown at the wall….